Graham Nasby's Online Resources

 

Sixten Ehrling Quotations

Sixten Ehrling, during his many years as Music Director and Principal Conductor of the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, was known to blurt out a humorous remark every now and then, in spite of his normally Swedish reserved nature. (Being a former student of the Maestro, I feel that I can attest to this as well.) The following is a collection of these witticisms collected by members of the DSO, I believe during the 1982-83 season.
- original compiler unknown

  • You call this an orchestra?
  • Too loud! You're scaring me!
  • It says in the score, "My soul is heavy with sorrow" and I know just what he means.
  • I'm so damn happy about that.
  • I'll give you an early intermission...so you can practice your parts.
  • Can you play this together...approximately?
  • It sounded better fortissimo.
  • ppp isn't it? At least use two of them.
  • Will you be quiet please (foot stomp!!!)
  • What do you think this is, an orchestra? You'd better think again.
  • That was soft enough, my goodness!
  • Don't use col legno...use your head!
  • All right, let's try it again. It can always get worse.
  • I never heard that before...and I don't want to hear it again, either.
  • The balance is not good here. There's too much noise going on for the violins.
  • They cannot possibly play wrong. They have rests.
  • Can we please have a rehearsal now?
  • I don't know what's going on. Hell is loose here again.
  • Play it louder. But only if you play it right, otherwise, pianissimo.
  • Can I ask you: just move your bows in the right direction.
  • Reduced strings for Siegfried Idyll: four, four, three, two and one. And the best players!
  • Will you please let me finish the last chord before you start talking?
  • (to pianist) See how they...it's impossible!
  • Oh my God! That long 'til 3:30!?
  • You want to get out of here? Please! So do I!
  • Did any of you hear what I just said? No? I didn't expect so.
  • Jesus, that's dangerous! You get me all excited, now I have to calm down.
  • (ricochet bowing) Some of us have too much technique...they get through it right away.
  • See? It pays to like things here.
  • Practicing is permitted.
  • Is it mezzo-piano? Make it piano. Put it in and use it.
  • Gentlemen (woodwinds): I appreciate your trying to cover up (the violas) here, but don't play too loud.
  • I hope you're as please to see me as I am to see you.
  • I'd like to make an accelerando, for those who want to mark it.
  • What I need from you is as many pianos as you can put into the part...this is way too heavy.
  • For me it's very easy: I don't make any sound.
  • (when the harp didn't play the 2nd chord) It's not that slow.
  • You have to specify a little bit.
  • The English horn has some grace notes before the beat. Be sure to play it before they come in and kill everything.
  • Is it clear what I'm doing? Really? Not to me, it's not.
  • Were you playing? (no) I wish you would, it's very nice.
  • Was it ok so far?
  • I'm going to take this up to tempo and you can take just a moment to look at it during the break.
  • Maybe we can't hear what's going on, but we can see it.
  • Winds: I'll take that in 4, it's so fast. You don't look at me anyway.
  • For some reason we seem to get stuck here. How about that?
  • Let's do it again. It can only get worse.
  • I'm just interested, has he left for the day?
  • Don't slow down. Don't get too sentimental. Leave that to me.
  • Am I going too fast? (orchestra: "NOOO!!!") I mean tempo.
  • This whole thing is a long flute solo and vice versa.
  • I hope everyone is feeling well. Everyone has been so quiet today I can't believe it.
  • Don't forget the diminuendo. Don't leave home without it.
  • I'm giving it to you now...free!
  • I can't count anymore.
  • For those who want to practice, the bars between #60-61 and #53-54 are identical. Only practice one spot!
  • I don't want anyone to be confused about what I'm doing...except for me.
  • (to self) Who can understand what I'm doing!?
  • Not too slow! We want to get home!
  • It's like a music critic...I don't know where things are.
  • We're missing some of the dynamics...but of course some people are seeing these notes for the first time.
  • It's only an 8th rest, don't make it half an hour...it's not a break.
  • It's always accented, everywhere I hear this piece. Not here, of course.
  • (to bass drum) I wish you would throw yourself over that thing and kill it.
  • I have to have some excuse to go back.
  • It's just one tiny, tiny, thin hair...like mine...late.
  • Sounds like porridge.
  • At 47 the winds are too loud for the strings. Whether you'd want to hear them, I don't know.
  • In the meantime, I'd like the cellos to know where they are.
  • You both played an E#, swear to God, or else cut my ears off.
  • Come on now, by the time you start to play, the symphony's finished.
  • Have you noticed that that is a subito piano?
  • It's so dull...sounds like five dollars an hour or something.
  • Don't play the tied over notes. They're like enemies of music!
  • Well, at least we finished together...that's a good thing.
  • If I had to say something in the beginning, in my poor judgement, I would have to say it's mezzo-piano.
  • (to cello and oboe) It was very well together...only one pitch was not the same, but I'm not going to make you feel bad about that.
  • You might skip the vibrato, as a reward.
  • It shouldn't be together...I've never heard it so well together.
  • Would you like a cue? What am I doing here? I have nothing better to do.
  • I'm talking to myself...you can listen if you want to.
  • I think every damned note has a flat except for the ones that have a double flat.
  • This must be a Promenade Concert: everybody's walking out.
  • OK, is there anything else that you don't like?
  • I know you have an artistic advisory committee in this orchestra. You'll tell me if I get too sentimental...
  • It's not necessary for you nine players to be in three rows...unless you hate each other or something.
  • That was supposed to be a cue, this thing here I did.
  • I'm afraid to get too fast because we'll have this oatmeal thing.
  • Would you double that? I'd rather not hear 2 flutes than not hear one.
  • It comes out like the triplest piano I eaver heard.
  • Sounds like oatmeal from the day before yesterday.
  • Would it be of any interest to you if I gave you a cue there?
  • Wince I last saw you a week ago, I've retired. When you're 65, you retire. So if my tempos seem slower, it's because I've retired.
  • Play it even softer...that always impresses audiences.
  • It sounds like someone kicking a pile of wood.
  • Don't hold that note so long...you could build a house on it.
  • We last played this at Meadowbrook in '77 and before that in '76. You see, I keep track of all the crimes we commit.
  • Please put an a tempo there for now. You can put the ritenuto back in next week when I'm not here.
  • Please! Keep in touch. You may even want to look at me 8 before D.
  • It's too heavy here. If you have anything important to say, don't say it here.
  • If I don't give a better beat, I'll kill someone.
  • I was faster than anybody because I was hearing.


Sources:

  • This page originally existed as part of the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra website (www.nzso.co.nz), sometime from 1995-2001?. However the site went offline sometime after that.
  • This page was thought to be missing up until Dec 18, 2005 when a mirrored copy was found at http://tfn.net/~edee/wave.html
  • I have reposted the material here, but have reformatted it for easier reading.
 


 
Last updated: December 18, 2005